NYAPU: Not Your Average Pregnancy Update I’m not here to tell you the size of my unborn child because even I don’t care if I have a petrified bean or a stumpy turnip taking my uterus hostage. I don’t plan on sharing the number of stretch marks (zero so far) or what I’m craving (food– I crave food). This is going to be the pregnancy update you never wanted to know yet will appreciate the impending honesty. Plus, don’t you want to know how horribly fat I’ve gotten? 

My first and only home prenatal visit fell on my 36-week bump date and a day before another important birth. Today is my 27th birthday! My midwife noted that I’m quite the surprise minority having taken a good part of my 20s bearing children as their usual clientele is older. Of these, they’re women who decide or circumstantially begin to bear children well after age 30 and comes with the high(er) risks of labor and birth. Aged womb or not, it won’t show pity on me when I’ll be a mother of two.

I’m really nice, I promise but I didn’t have my glasses on.

How far along? 36 weeks and 1 day going on 27 years.

Measuring? … right on time for once.

Weight? If I wasn’t 8 months pregnant, my current weight and height gives me a BMI of 28.3 putting me in the “overweight” category. 30 is obese!

Mood? Sensitive and self-conscious. My body is changing and I don’t feel as hot to trot as in my previous trimesters before my burgeoning belleh. Gym Hottie had better watch his mouth and actions in these last few weeks. Hell hath no fury as an insecure pregnant woman ready to give birth.

Midwife said? My birth could be cut as short as half of Humnoy’s 8-hour birth, contractions could start and I’ll be dilated to 7-8 cm, and that my water may not even break. WTF? Pretty much I get the glory of enjoying a good movie experience but cramming all the good stuff (innovative plot, engaging characters, and an awesome ending) into a short feature length.

Braxton Hicks? The practice contractions are most prominent when I’m trying to relax like sitting or in bed. Of course also when a half-crazed toddler is attempts it as a personal trampoline.

Breastfeeding? Humnoy only nurses to sleep, if that. At almost 22 months (okay, he’s almost two), the only times he sleeps now is noon napping and bed time. My midwife reminded me that if he does still nurse through birth, to make sure Bebe gets to nurse first. I do predict that Humnoy will regain interest when a newborn is lurking on his milk territory.

Vagina? Wearing a maternity support belt has provided some relief and I want to share the wealth. If you are (or know someone who is) pregnant, please let me know if you’d like a free maternity belt. Check the conditions and enter!

What is your favorite thing to do on your birthday with your family?

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