Forget You: Why I’m Not Claiming To Be A Mom On My Birthday


I always get like this around this time of year. It is after the hustling holidays of Thanksgiving-Christmas-New Year trio and this day arrives before I, or anybody else, know it. Just a few short years ago, I dutifully had what’s called a “birth month” and celebrated drank my birthday the entire month. This time around, I get a forgetful husband and unknowing toddlers. This time around, I also hate birth days I usually love.

The awaited screams meant the world to me because it also meant that the inconspicuous 10 months came to life on the day my children were born. I had no clue what they would look like or even what pronoun one would be. I would meet the rest of my life on their first day. Labor and birth has always been very kind to me and I love the experiences each one afforded me. Actual parenthood is another story.

My birthday is just a day I want to forget I gave birth to other human beings. Is that harsh? Maybe. I want to be me and go and eat Denny’s alone. If the universe can do me a solid and make sure the baby can change all her diapers and catch all her poops. I would really like to put on makeup and my false eyelashes just because it’s my fucking birthday. I would really appreciate it if the toddler did not wake up his sister on purpose. I would like the dishes to run themselves or hell, go all Beauty and The Beast on me and make all the meals for the day. I just want to celebrate by doing absolutely nothing and remembering nobody’s birthday except maybe my mother’s because I came out of her vaj.

Today, I just want to wish myself a happy birthday and no one else.

What do you “selfishly” do on your birthday?

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17 thoughts on “Forget You: Why I’m Not Claiming To Be A Mom On My Birthday

  1. Such is the life of a mother :) Happy Birthday! I believe that many of your birthday wishes are the same for other mommies (especially toddler #1 deciding “maybe I won’t wake up my baby sister” and the dishes who wash themselves)

  2. My birthday always sucks. Even before I had Meese. This year I decided to say “my birthday is supposed to suck. I’m a mom.” But if I were you, I’d wait till no one was lookin and book it to Denny’s. Send GH a “thank you” text from around the corner! Happy birthday, momma! 😘

  3. Happy belated birthday! On my birthday, I just remember to honor my parents for giving me life and not drowning me in the river. Sounds so corny, but it’s true. I also want to be left alone and maybe eat a nice meal by myself. And sleep. I want to sleep all day on my birthday.

  4. Happy belated birthday! You deserve all the things you want. Maybe when the kids are grown they will shower you with doing the dishes and shiny presents! For now, husbands are mostly lame (but sometimes amazing!). For my birthday I usually want my husband to remember and not give me a hard time about spending $10 at Starbucks! Ha.

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