How Kids Get Hurt When You Say “No”

No matter how you say it whether it’s “non” in French, “nein” in German, and “baw” in Laotian, that nasty word “No” is usually accompanied with a just-as-nasty tone in parenting. I strive to do everything in my power to provide a safe environment for my child to play and live without having to say, “No.” Instead of “No, I can’t pick you up right now,” I actually can and yes, pick him up. Other than yell “NO! Don’t touch garbage from the trash,” I give him something else that, yes, he can play with. If he wants to eat that old blueberry from the corner of the kitchen floor, I say, yes, eat it if you want to try it. That’s my choice of parenting – try saying “yes” more and provide an environment accordingly. Dangerous events do conjure up a spur-of-the-moment lapse in gentle discipline and I have to live with my shittiest mommy moment so far.

20120601-172841.jpg

Long story short, Gym Hottie came home early and we took Humnoy to the emergency room. He has burns from a hair straightener that off the bathroom counter. All this guilt, all this agony over an incident that happened in 5 seconds and could possibly scar my child’s face forever. If I could replace those 5 seconds where I screamed “Oh NO!” to make sure it was out of his reach, I so would.

If I provided a place where, yes, he can join Mama in the bathroom and safely play while she gets ready, he wouldn’t have those burns. Usual bathroom convos are “No, don’t play with the toilet” (the lid should’ve been down), “No, don’t touch Mommy’s makeup (I should put it away if I was not using it), and “No, I’m almost done! I’ll pick you up then (My hair can wait; my child doesn’t have to). So what he got funny looks at Fred Meyer? So what we have to goop on Neosporin on his face 1-3 times daily? It could always be worse and I have to let go of this shitty-mom guilt.

At this point, Humnoy is happy and pain-free and we are still thankful the burns didn’t get to his eyes or in his mouth. He’s his happy and beautiful self, maybe-scars and all. Our new task is to closely monitor his wounds when he, yes, can do this, that, or the other.

 

What do you try to do to say, “Yes” rather than “No?” How do you treat burns?

Mom Problems: That moment you have to delete all your drunk pictures to make room for baby pictures.

(P.S. The blog address has changed from http://laotiancommotion.wordpress.com to http://THElaotiancommotion.com!)

If I were to provide any sort of advice for new parents, it would be to invest in lots and lots of computer hard drive. You won’t know until it’s too late to find out you take way too many pictures of your child. As cliche as it sounds, they do grow up fast so snap every.thing no matter how stupid or embarrassing it may be for both parties in front of and behind the lens. The same applies to any life event really – your wedding, your first house, and especially your 21st birthday. Stupid, drunken moments need as much documentation as possible.

As a reformed party girl, it is without a doubt I have an archive of drunken escapades. My OCD even has the albums all compartmentalized in order of events and I realized I got drunk a lot. This was even after I deleted irrelevant photos that were scattered in random spots, but I still got drunk. A lot. Among these inebriation gems, I’ve been reminded I did all the normal party girl antics. I’m highly guilty of the Duckface and the obligatory slutty Halloween costume. The funnier thing is that these photos were taken a mere two years prior, if not sooner to (and perhaps even during), Humnoy’s surprise announcement that he was growing inside my womb.

Here I am at 13 months postpartum and only about three years out of getting schwasted every weekend with reminders of my past lifestyle to my current one. My drunken photos only took up a smidge of my hard drive because who is sober enough to capture each moment? If you did then you weren’t partying hard enough. Flash forward to 2012 and I have to appease my Mac’s bitchy error message to clear up some space to store each and every photo and video that accumulate daily. Yes, DAY-ly as in every day of my kid doing the same exact thing within the same millisecond.

Best Advice to New Mom and Dad:

  • Say goodbye to your old drunk life captured in pixels
  • Prepare to take many, many, many pictures of your little one(s)
  • Save each and every adorable photo because one day they will appreciate your odd infatuation of their face and eventually you will see this:

How do you store or organize your little one(s)’ photos?

Mom Problems: Thin Mints on a Car Ride

This is my cautionary tale for those contemplating to bring the last sleeve of Girl Scout Thin Mints on a road trip with a Mama and a baby. Pull over and give the kid a boob. Or pack Cheerios. Anything, ANYTHING but Thin Mints.

20120401-220448.jpg

20120401-214845.jpg

20120401-220808.jpg

20120401-220845.jpg

20120401-220902.jpg

20120401-220826.jpg